8 Ways on How NOT to be Antisocial

TalkShop antisocial personality development trainingIs your idea of a social night playing Xbox Live? Did you spend your prom in a corner imagining how to improve the God-awful punch but ending up saying “Hmmm this isn’t really that bad”? Is your idea of an office social people sending you free food and drinks from an ongoing company party while you work? Do you list Spiderman as the person you most identify with?

If you say yes to all of this then you are an anti-social.

Being anti-social stems from a person’s innate insecurity – that has gone out of control. Shyness and quietness are the most spottable symptoms of this behaviour. These are the tips to help you get out of your shell and start living life with the rest of the human race.


1. Relax.
People with antisocial behaviour have a tendency to freak out at the mere thought of talking to another person. Don’t. What’s the worst thing that could happen? They walk away from you. Their loss, they will never find out how fabulous you are.

2. Pay Attention.
You started the conversation already, so pay attention. Don’t zone out on the person you are talking to. Stop looking at the mole on his face or the type of necklace she is wearing. Don’t let your mind drift either to things that you would rather be doing or going to do. Listen to what the other person is saying and focus.

3. Engage.
Don’t be afraid to engage in the conversation. You might be thinking “will they find me obnoxious?” Stop being paranoid, most people are more conscious of what you think of them than having an opinion about you during the conversation. Sounds familiar? They are feeling exactly what you are feeling.

4. Avoid Micromanaging.
Micromanaging yourself or the conversation will make everything you do seem unnatural and clunky. Let it flow. Your hair looks fine and you are not talking too fast.

5. Be Internally Humble.
Most antisocial people are usually smart since most of that time that could have been spent on socializing, they have spent reading or studying. It is a natural reaction to think you are smarter than most people. You may be right. But the objective is to socialize and mingle and not to let them feel that you are superior to them.

6. Do not be an Entertainer.
When socializing, don’t worry about being witty or snazzy. Be entertaining by being you. Let your uniqueness positively and naturally shine. Worrying about it will make you want to talk less and less.

7. Don’t Try to Impress.
Never lie about who you are just to impress the people around you. Lying always complicates things. Act sensibly and say what you mean. In the end you will appreciate that you are liked for yourself and not for a story you fabricated.

8. Express Yourself with Confidence.
A lot of the insecurities of an individual happen during the teenage years, when the need to fit in is at its peak and one’s individuality tends to be stifled. Emotionally secure people are usually the ones leading the pack. You can practice by expressing yourself with confidence. A big measure of confidence is in how comfortable you are in your own skin. Keep doing this in front of the mirror and around friends until your confidence becomes natural. You will notice how easily people gravitate towards you as you build your confidence this way.


Now that you know the general techniques, the next move is to decide to NOT be anti-social. But if you need more, Talkshop offers training classes that will help arm you with the skills as you go out in the world and mingle. For more information go to www.talkshop.ph or call (632) 894 5588.

Posted by TalkShop
Sheila Viesca, TalkShop CEO and Director of Communication, took up Bachelor of Arts in Literature, pursued Master's degrees in Entrepreneurship and Economics, and completed her Doctorate in Applied Cosmic Anthropology. She designed the Philippines' Language Competency Benchmark for the Department of Education and pioneered Integrated Language Teaching (ILT) in workshop designs and corporate communication training. You can follow her on Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, LinkedIN


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