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How to Say NO to the Different Personality Types

TalkShop different personality typesWe encounter people in our work setting or social circle who are drawn to us but who we particularly do not like or want to be with. This is most challenging when we need to say no to someone who is interested to pursue a relationship with us.

A “NO” is a difficult situation to manage in any aspect of one’s life. It is hard to take but can be even harder to give. It is best to know how to lay down the cards sensibly and intelligently. By knowing personality types and dynamics, we equip ourselves with effective communication and better interrelationship skills when dealing with the people we want to be with and those who we want to stay away from.

Arm yourself with the knowledge of the personality types so you know how to convey the “NO” and manage the situation better:

The Opportunity-driven Type A

A-type are the visionary decision makers. They have the can-do attitude. To the A-type, a NO is a challenge. To turn them down, your reason must be beyond reproach. It is best to give a reason that is intangible yet cannot be questioned. A-type are realistic and respond immediately to whatever new opportunity is in front of them. Use this to your advantage. For instance, tell the person that your immediate plan is to finish your schooling or advanced degree within any particularly long period. Another way is to redirect A-type’s interest in you by introducing another attractive person or opportunity to pursue.

The People-pleaser Type B

B-type are the child-like charmers. They tend to befriend everyone around them. To the B-type, a NO must be relayed through others who will focus on how the two of you do not look good together. It is best to give a reason that is consistent and pertains to others’ impression of you as a couple. B-type are socially endearing and usually aim to get the attention of the crowd. Use this to your advantage. For instance, once you decide to convey the NO, go out as a group so B-type will be distracted in pleasing everyone instead of focusing on your rejection. It is best to maintain the friendship with B-type because this person has the tendency to make you look bad by using your social group. It is best to make him an ally.

The Seriously Shy Type C

C-type are the clingy loyalists. They are those who will very rarely cheat because they do not get excited by change or anything that will challenge their status quo. However, they only need to be turned down once. To the C-type, a NO is a devastating blow that they will bitterly carry for life. Be careful, however, if you are already in a relationship. Whatever reason you have must be given straight and calmly. It is not wise to lead them on. While you give the reassurance that you will always be a friend, be firm with your NO. If you are moving on with another, it is best to ask the C’s honest “friend” opinion.

The Manic-depressive Type D

D-type are the all-purpose recluse. They are low-keyed, patient, and compassionate. To the D-type, a NO must be relayed with kindness, and any hole that it leaves must be filled with immediate attention from his caring social circle. When saying NO, take a consistent and quiet position, backed up by reassurance. For instance, after the rejection, organize a gathering with familiar friends who D would be interested to see. D-type do not mind others knowing about the rejection as long as they can provide the necessary comfort.

TalkShop, the pioneer of Integrated Language Teaching (ILT) in workshop designs, has evolved hundreds of personal effectiveness programs for top organizations from different industries. One strong dimension of the TalkShop training is the evaluation of personality types so that individuals will learn to affirm their true self and value differences among their team members.

For more information on the programs you can attend, call your TalkShop Consultant at (632) 894 5588 or visit www.talkshop.ph.

One way to do this is to know how the different personality types handle be it loss of an opportunity, loss of a special relationship or loss of some other kind. The reality of life is that rejection will form a part of it––there will be occasions when your job application, your date request or your ideas for change will be rejected by someone, somewhere. It is a healthy attitude to accept that rejection is a part of life and to acknowledge that what really matters is finding the way to bounce back and try again.

Posted by TalkShop
Sheila Viesca, TalkShop CEO and Director of Communication finished her bachelor degree in Literature, masters in Entrepreneurship, and doctorate in Applied Cosmic Anthropology. She designed the Philippines' Language Competency Benchmark for the Department of Education and pioneered Integrated Language Teaching (ILT) in workshop designs and corporate communication training. You can follow her on Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, LinkedIN, and Google+

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